The Prehistoric Job
by inspired-looney
Summary: Parker, Hardison and Eliot are running from the police in London when they come across a strange looking box and decide to hide inside. Havok ensues as Parker plays with the buttons and switches. Minor Dr Who crossover.


"Damnit Hardison," Eliot yelled as they ran down the narrow streets of London, the 'old bill' on their tails.

"I tried to tell him about the alarm," Parker shouted as she sprinted ahead of them.

"How the hell did you two talk me into this in the first pla…." Eliot stopped short, both with his sentence and he actually had to stop running as it seemed they had hit a dead end.

"Hey! Why'd you stop?" Hardison asked puzzled as he huffed and puffed, walking the last few yards to catch up with his colleagues, "they're only a few minutes behind us, five at most."

"Cause we're stuck," Parker answered, scanning the little square, trying to find a hiding place, nook or cranny somewhere she could contort herself into but quickly realised there was nowhere that all three of them could hide and she couldn't leave them behind.

"What about that box thing?" Parker said, noticing a big blue box in the corner.

"Don't be stupid Parker," Eliot replied, "It's a police thing," he added pointing to the sign on the side, "they'll catch us in two seconds."

"Wait a second," Hardison said, finally catching his breath and looking reverently at the box, "a blue police box in the middle of London? Ohhh, I can't believe my luck!"

Parker and Eliot exchanged glances, wondering if the lack of oxygen Hardison had gotten while trying to keep up with them had affected his brain.

"Do you know what this means?" he turned to them, a stupid grin spread over his features.

"You're an idiot and we're going to get caught!" Eliot said, trying to keep his voice calm as he came up with a plan.

"No you idiot," Hardison replied, speaking slowly like he was talking to a child. "Parker, can you pick this lock?"

"Of course," she replied and pulled her picks from her belt, "but I don't see why, we'll barely fit in here and it's a police thing, they'll find us."

"Just trust me," he continued to grin at them, "everything will be okay."

Eliot could hear the police closing in as Parker worked on the lock. It was trickier than usual and she was getting frustrated by it.

"If I could just…." She said, sticking her tongue out, concentrating on the lock.

"I bet its protected!" Hardison groaned, "I should have known."

"I think I got it," Parker grunted, her fingers twisted in so many different directions it was painful just to watch, but no sooner than the words were out of her mouth did the lock click and the door popped open. "Oh wow!" she exclaimed as she got the first look inside.

"Stop staring and move," Eliot whispered, not wanting to alert the policemen who had nearly caught up with them. Roughly he pushed Parker forward, just hoping this wasn't as dumb an idea as it looked.

"Shit!" was all he could say as he made it through the door.

"I told you this was the right place to hide!" Hardison exclaimed as he closed the door behind him and started to jump up and down, clapping his hands and making a girly squeaky noise that Eliot couldn't even begin to define.

"But….." Eliot stammered, "erm…."

"Yeah yeah," Hardison calmed down and gave Eliot a very smug grin, "I know, it's bigger on the inside."

"Hey look at all this stuff," Parker said running over to the main console and starting to flip switches and turn funny looking knobs.

"Don't touch anything Parker," Hardison yelled at her, "who knows when you'll send us!"

"When," Eliot laughed, "what the hell are you talking about man? This is a box, it can't move!"

"No Eliot," Hardison put on his best professor voice, "It's a time machine or, to give it its full and proper name, its Time and Relative Dimensions in Space or TARDIS for short."

"There's something wrong with you," Eliot said in an exasperated tone and with a shake of his head he headed back to the door to listen for their pursuers.

"Hey what does this do?" Parker asked as she pushed a button.

"Damn girl, what did I tell you about touch….." Hardison's admonishment was cut short as the middle of the console began to light up and move. He knew only too well what this mean and frantically started searching for a way to turn it off.

The next thing they knew they were being thrown around as the box appeared to be moving on its own. Hardison could see Eliot's mouth moving and could just imagine what obscenities were coming out of it but thankfully the noise of the engine and Parker's delighted squealing was drowning him out.

Everyone collapsed as the TARDIS seemed to hit terra firma and Hardison looked around trying to figure out when and where they were.

"Oh boy," he said as he found the right panel on the console.

"What?" Eliot asked, more than a little irritated.

"Well…" Hardison began, edging away from the hitter, "remember this isn't my fault, Parker was the one hitting the buttons."

"Hardison!" Eliot said, the quietness of his voice more threatening than if he'd been yelling.

"Well…. Erm…." He stammered,

"Oh for gods sake," Eliot muttered and headed for the door.

"No, don't open it!" he yelled, but he was too late.

Eliot opened the door and took a few steps outside. He was completely flabbergasted that they were no longer in a dingy little side street in London, but they were apparently at the edge of a lush green forest. Behind the police box were trees stretching taller than any Eliot had ever seen and going on for a far as the eye could see. A stream was flowing a few feet in front of the police box. Wide open plains went on for miles and miles and as Eliot slowly wandered around he saw plants he'd never seen before and little animals buzzing about that were completely alien to him.

Hardison and Parker had ventured a few steps outside the box and were also looking around in wonder, both making all sorts of little squeaking noises of excitement.

"Where are we Hardison?" Eliot asked, but as he turned to face them his features suddenly darkened.

"Hardison," he said quietly, "Parker," he added, "turn around slowly and get back in that box."

"But it's all so pretty," Parker said heading for the stream.

Eliot caught her as she skipped past and turned her around to see what he was seeing.

"Oh my!" was all she could say as she stood, staring, completely transfixed.

"What?" Hardison asked coming to join them, "Oh f…."

"For god's sake," Eliot whispered, "move back into the damn box right now!"

The three of them walked softly, quietly, not taking their eyes off the frightening sight in front of them.

Suddenly the dinosaur which had been looking at them with curious amusement roared. The force threw them back off their feet, landing in a crumpled mess on the ground.

With a speed and agility that surprised, well Hardison only, they got up and, no longer trying to keep the beast calm, they ran full pelt back to the police box.

As Eliot slammed the door behind them, only hoping and praying that the little box, that was bigger inside than out, would protect them, he just had one thing to say.

"Damnit HARDISON!"


End file.
